Coming in second on my list of 20 books that changed my life is a collection of Dr. John F. Demartini's books;
I know, this is a little cheeky, lopping 4 books in as one... but bare with me friends, because the power of these 4 books combined is truly where the magic was for me.
Dr. John F. Demartini is one of the original self-help masters, in my humble opinion. Long before 'self-help' flooded our social feeds, this man was writing, speaking and mastering 'the work' that much of the western world is only just beginning to acknowledge and catch up with...
What I love most about Demartini's work is the relevance for every human being and the self-responsibility he transfers onto the reader. No matter where you're at on your journey, or for how long you've been unraveling and stretching yourself, the lessons in these books will remain relevant and powerful for all of time (in my opinion). These books are like coming home, and I tap into them over and over again.
Let's explore...
1. The Heart of Love
- How to go beyond fantasy to find true relationship fulfilment.
I believed this book would fix my shitty relationship...
To my surprise, it taught me more about me which is the absolute foundation and truth of fulfilment in relationships.
Understanding yourself, reclaiming who you are, what's important to you and arriving in a place of acceptance with all of the above, is how we relate powerfully.
It taught me some gracious lessons;
Love is not something we get, it's something we create through understanding ourselves first.
We will only receive love to the extent of which we're willing to accept ourselves as love.
Requiring people to change who they are and what's important to them, so we can be OK and experience love, is not love.
Again, you can see the sticky tabs indicating every piece of writing that was momentous and valuable to me. So many words I wanted to remember and come back to. I allowed this book to take me on a soulful journey of deep self-discovery, including establishing my values.
Inside the pages of this book you'll unlearn relationship myths, reclaim fulfilment (in place of fantasy), establish your own hierarchy of personal needs & values, and how to link what you love with what others love.
Our most intimate relationships are the doorways to our most exquisite healing opportunities. Even our need and desire to find the 'one' is a healing opportunity in and of itself. This book helps you complete yourself, whether you're in a relationship or not. It strengthens YOU.
My most valuable piece of insight relative to this book is;
What's important to you is not the same as what's expected of you. And when you reclaim what's important to you, you reclaim yourself and ultimately your ability to love unconditionally.
The value for me in this book was in walking myself back to what's true for me, underneath the layers of the modelling and conditioning woven into my belief systems.
2. Count Your Blessings
- The Healing Power of Gratitude & Love
'Whatever you run away from, you run into - whatever you lie about, runs your life.'
Have you ever heard the saying 'everything happens for a reason'?
Well, my friends, this is the book that solidified exactly how this is true for me. It took me from understanding to knowing that life truly does not happen to me, it happens for me.
And I can choose to believe this notion and liberate myself from blame and pain or, I can choose to deny this and continue to fall victim to myself.
This was a confronting piece for me because I could no longer pretend that I wasn't in charge of my thoughts and therefore, my reality. It took immense courage.
The little girl inside who once blamed and criticised the world for not giving her the same opportunities, love, understanding and validation as others, well, she slowly took up less and less space - not because she wasn't needed anymore, but instead, because I learned how to liberate her (with love).
Self-responsibility is the crux of this book, and my most valuable piece of insight for you is this:
Once you learn the truth of who and what you truly are, you simply cannot unlearn it. You can only avoid and pretend that you aren't destined to evolve, grow and liberate yourself from your own pain & limitation.
This is the only book I own with this many sticky tabs...
Inside the pages of this book you'll see how every problem is an opportunity to learn and love, and how you are the creator of your reality, including your pain.
The value for me in this book was in reclaiming my responsibility to myself including my thoughts, my healing, my soul-contract, my money, my judgements & shadows, and my beliefs.
3. The Riches Within
- Your Seven Secret Treasures
Genius, Immortality, Divinity, Wealth, Power, Unity & Leadership...
This book absolutely obliterates the illusion of who you think you're supposed to be (and not be).
It was the cornerstone for me in getting out of my own way and it taught me to make room for opposites, such as failure, rejection, and adversity.
Put another way, it lit a fire that burned my fantasy of only being good, liked, appreciated, loved, adored, perfect, admired and needed.
My this or that thinking became this and that thinking, and the way I experienced myself flipped on its head (in all the best ways).
This book really tackles those valid and curious fears that often arise when you make the decision to want more for yourself and to step outside the box you've been told is best to live in if you want to be successful (or whatever). If you genuinely desire to walk your own path in life, to step outside the mould, to make your own way, to earn your own living, or to understand that you can be more than just one thing, this book will not only show you how it's possible, but it will also give you the proof your ego demands which is - that you will be more than OK if you create your own destiny.
If you can't be more than one thing, you can't be what you're here to be. And if you can't be what you're truly here to be, you will never fully feel the depth of your innate joy.
4. The Breakthrough Experience
- A Revolutionary New Approach to Personal Transformation
This book is the why and the how...
Why do we live the ways we do and how do we trust and transform our lives into our highest vision?
How is it really true that everything happens for a reason, and that even in loss there's immense gain?
In all honesty, this isn't a book I've read from cover to cover (like lots of books I read). Instead, I've plucked pieces from different chapters and trusted the insight and wisdom I was receiving.
From what I have read and explored - I would describe this book as being a delicious compilation of all the settings in which we desire to understand ourselves, our spirit and universal law.
This book continues to change my life by simply sitting on my book shelf in times of need, especially when feel the desire to go deeper into my understanding of the world. A few key lessons I've taken away include:
Everything is energy, EVERYTHING. Even our physical body.
The true nature of the human being, underneath all of our 'stuff', is love and light.
You cannot have light without dark, positive without negative, joy without pain, happiness without sorrow, and to believe otherwise is to run your life from outside your heart.
"If you have 1,000 lies about divine order and balance, you have 2,000 personas, and all those aspects of yourself compete for consciousness, lower your potential and keep you from remembering who you really are."
This book elicits a deep stretch of the mind, including our perceptions of what's fair, and it truly challenges all that we think we are and what we're here to do. And that's exactly why I love it.
